A naming and blessing Ceremony 25 May 2003- June Pettitt

'When a baby is born it is the symbol of birth and life, and therefore all must rejoice and smile, and all lose their hearts to a child' Kenneth Patton

Unitarians offer special services to celebrate birth and naming. These are arranged as far as possible to meet the needs of those most closely involved.

On May 25th 2003 in the service at Fulwood Old Chapel three children (from the same family) were named and blessed. The ceremony was a welcome, a celebration of birth and a commitment to care. It was conducted by Rev June Pettitt: read below her address which was given in the service:

"In our ceremonies for naming and blessing children you will notice that when we use water for the naming, we do not ever use it with words about the washing away of sin. The words chosen about the water may be about purity, or about how essential water is to life, (how precious), but not about washing away sin. This is of course, quite deliberate, for our Unitarian tradition speaks of human potential, rather than sin. The child is born pure and needs suitable conditions to grow up to be a loving and kind adult. It is not that we believe that everyone is perfect, but rather that we emphasise the potential in a child, that there is something within the child which can develop and emerge and grow, something which is infinitely precious. Children are certainly not perfect beings when they are growing up, they are born into all sorts of difficulties which frustrate and which we all have to come to terms with, but there is there: potential. there is there potential - there is in the child promise……as Sophia Lyons Fahs said, each night a child is born is a holy night. Sophia Lyons Fahs, American C20 Unitarian religious educator.

And so we emphasise human potential and we also emphasise the individuality of each person. Joseph, Alice and Lucy are unique individuals, and some of the words I used in the ceremony earlier I repeated for each of them, a blessing for each of them.

We are born individuals and each of us develops in different ways, we each have our own unique gifts to offer the world. Sadly, our world is not a place in which every child born can develop his or her gifts. Our Unitarian chapels and churches and fellowships are places where we hope to nurture the values that our world needs; to make it a better place for our children and our children's children.

Does it sound simple, that children are born with potential and we just need the right conditions for the seed to grow? I don't mean to pretend that it is easy. We should dedicate ourselves to the greatest values expressed by human beings, but we need to acknowledge that it is not an easy task to put these values in place when we are bringing up children. We must continually revisit our values, restate and absorb them - make fresh starts, and find ways to strengthen ourselves in the face of difficulties. Our Unitarian communities can help in this. A belief in a Loving Spirit, the supporting ground of Being which many call God, such a belief can greatly help in this. At the same time I would always acknowledge that there are people who are uncertain about such a belief in God: people who none-the-less have a faith in the values of Love and kindness and a nurturing of the Beauty in our world. I can comfortably use the word 'God', but I know that this is not the same for everyone. Unitarians believe that every person is ultimately his or her own authority in matters of belief …..therefore people here do not have to conform to a creed about God and Jesus before coming a member.

You may notice in our naming and blessing ceremonies that we often mention the importance of how we live, how we live, rather than the specifics of our religious beliefs. The example our life provides for others is important, …..the model we provide for children is the key. …..though I am not saying we can be perfect. Human institutions and human beings are not perfect, but we all do what we can.

As a parent of two children I can certainly remember having problems. 'Being at the end of my tether' is the phrase that comes to mind. I remember some of the worst times when one of the children seemed totally irrational, the next day it transpires that they were starting with a cold, or some illness like that, and were not able to articulate at the time that something was wrong.

And so we believe that the individual is his or her own authority in matters of belief and we also think that the sharing of beliefs and experiences is a way of growing spiritually. The individual is important, but so is our community. This is important in our religious education programmes in our churches. We do not impose creeds upon the children who come here; we do not seek to bind our children to a single way of seeing the world, but we have to learn how to be a religious fellowship, a chapel, a caring community, whatever term you prefer. Human institutions and human beings are not perfect, but we all do what we can.

And so: The individual is his or her own authority in matters of belief:

A little story for you, something which happened a good number of years ago, so a few of you may have heard it, but probably not. It is a true story, which tells us a little about the Unitarian approach to children's religious education. It concerns a ten year old from an Anglican, church going, background and a six year old from a Unitarian church-going background. Overheard by the Unitarian parent of the six year old, a conversation between the two children going on in his house. The ten year old says to the six year old, 'when you die you go to heaven to be with Jesus'. 'when you die you go to heaven to be with Jesus'. There is a pause in the conversation and eventually the six-year-old replies, 'not everyone believes that'.

'Not everyone believes that'. At an early age children have to respect the fact that different people have different beliefs. When I was a children's leader in a Unitarian church (that is at Upper Chapel, in Norfolk St Sheffield) when I was a Children's leader there I would tell the children that 'some people believe this………' and 'some people believe that'. No doubt this is something they realise from their learning and experience at school, but I think that to learn about differences in belief but still have the benefits of being a part of a chapel community, a religious fellowship, I think that is much more than can be given by a school in terms of religious education.

To give one example, I don't think that a children's group in our chapels should ever be about testing the children on their learning. We can certainly not measure results. Who knows what results there may be for the children who come here? How can you possibly measure the intangibles, which are none the less of fundamental importance in life and in preparing for adult life?

One thing we can do, we can celebrate the children's achievements, whatever type of achievements they are, as our aim is to value the children. I hope that the children can learn some facts about religions in our Junior chapel, as they grow older, facts about religions and the world about them, but learning facts will not be the main aim of our children's groups. Learning about themselves, learning to respect others, learning to wonder at the world. Learning about attitudes. Learning to celebrate life Learning to recognise the wonder element in life. Learning to listen to others and learning to speak for themselves. I hope that ultimately children who come here would learn to resist the brainwashing factor, the brainwashing factor which may exist in the form of extremists in some religious groups.

Gosh, there is so much for us all to go on learning, some of it is about facts, but there is so much more.

Learning to celebrate and wonder about life: our object of the General Assembly of our Unitarian and Free Christian Churches includes the idea that we are here to celebrate life: the object goes like this: we are To promote a free and inquiring religion through the worship of God and the celebration of life; the service of humanity and respect for all creation; and the upholding of the liberal Christian tradition. This is not a creed, and for many of us there is a particular part of this object which will be more important to us than the rest of it. It is not a creed, but it guides us as to what Unitarians are about and tells new people something about us.

Words from the great C19 American Unitarian minister, William Ellery Channing, are still relevant today when we think about bringing up children, and perhaps too, there is something in these words for everyone, not just for parents and educators:

So here is

The Great End in Religious Instruction
by William Ellery Channing

The Great End in Religious Instruction
Is not to stamp our minds
Irresistibly on the young,
But to stir up their own;

Not to make them see with our eyes,
But to look
Inquiringly and steadily
With their own;

Not to impose upon them
In the form of arbitrary rules,
Which rest on no foundation
But our own word and will;

But to awaken the conscience,
The moral discernment,
So that they may discern
and approve for themselves
whatever is everlasting,
right and good. Amen

 

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